#I’m going on a search for spock

[catgirljaneway]

whenever I’m doing college work that makes me so tired and sad I can look into my corner where all my Star Trek figures are staring at me ominously and that makes me feel a bit better

[vonnebenan]

"My father says you have been my friend. You came back for me." "You would have done the same for me."

oils on paper, A4

[spirkbitch]

am i the only one who thought that whole Saavik and Spock scene in TSFS was real unnecessary? like i get that it was technically necessary for the storyline but i totally could have inferred that without having to see a strangely romantic vulcan make out scene between grown up adult Saavik and Spock’s child body

[poebrey]

I’m glad I had a bit of a break between the episode itself and the epilogue because I have different feelings about both…also Owo and Detmer are canon because I say so I know they had Jett in a shot with them like that on purpose

[deepestturtlepielover]

I’m waiting 👁️👁️♥️♠️

[chasingstardustandmoonbeams]

Once More (II)

A/N: Thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoy. Next update should (hopefully) come quicker.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: None

Masterlist & Playlist

You woke up with a start. You sat up, immediately reaching for your data pad. The stardate reads the same as yesterday - Thursday. 

This was real. This was happening. You sat up in your bed, mind reeling over the events of the last few days. 

Flicking on your data pad you made notes of everything you could remember. Uneventful morning shift, Ensign Sigala would offer you a cup of coffee, lunch would be spent with quickly and alone, the anomaly, drinks with Uhura and Ortegas, the turbolift with Spock. 

Spock. 

You needed to find Spock. 

Quickly, you got dressed, nearly falling over as you gathered yourself for the day. You quickly grabbed your data pad, now making notes about all the information you had managed to gather from the anomaly. 

You were still typing away as you made your way out of your quarters. If you could just lock on to the anomaly as it was happening you’d be able to figure out more. Why today? Why only you and Spock?

You looked up from your data pad as you rounded the corner. Spock was there talking to Nurse Chapel. They both looked directly at you. 

You faltered at your pace. Why- did she?

“There you are!” 

You turned to see Ensign Sigala coming towards you. He wore a bashful smile as he held out coffee for you.

“I wanted to make sure you had your morning cup,” He was smiling kindly at you, you tried your best to return the smile. 

“Oh, thank you, Ensign,” you managed to choke out. 

You felt his presence rigid behind you before you heard him speak. “Lieutenant L/N, Nurse Chapel and I need your presence in sickbay.” 

You looked between Spock and the Ensign managing one more small thank you before following Spock towards sickbay. 

“How did you -” 

“You requested that I find you sooner,” Spock made no motion to look at you as you followed him into sickbay. 

“Alright, Spock, what is going on?” Christine crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes looking between the both of you. 

You glanced at Spock before you stepped forward, “Christine, you’re never going to believe this,” you paused, “But I’m really going to need you to try.”

“Okay, now I’m just more concerned,” she dropped her eyes and moved closer towards you. 

“Spock and I, well we -” 

“We appear to be relieving the same day,” Spock added. 

Christine just gaped at the two of you. “What - you mean-” 

“Everyday is Thursday,” you sighed. 

“I believe we have completed the same loop twice, this being the third.” 

“How did this start?” Christine prompted, leaning backwards against one of the medical tables. 

“The anomaly-” you both say flatly. 

“And then it ends with the turbolift,” you swallowed, “We both sort of plummet to our death and then wake up again.” 

“And have we had this conversation before?” She asked, her head tilting a bit to the side. 

“No, this is our first conversation,” Spock added. “I wanted to inquire if it is possible to determine any abnormalities between Lieutenant L/N and I. This could help us to understand why only she and I have been repeating the day.” 

Christine simply nodded, picking up the tricorder, “Alright, well I don’t see anything out of the ordinary.” She paused making her way to a table. “Maybe if we -” 

Christine's eyes went wide, her hand reaching out to clutch her throat. 

“Christine!” you yelled as Spock reached out to help her. Christine simply fell to the floor, life quickly leaving her eyes. 

Your own throat grew tight, you tried to will air into your lungs but you couldn’t catch your breath. Desperately you looked at Spock, your hand reaching out to him before your knees buckled out from underneath you. 

“What….” you gasped, “Is….happening?” Spock caught you by the arms before you could hit the floor. His distressed eyes searched yours. 

“I do not understand,” he breathed out, his own breaths growing more shallow. He held onto your arms as you both sank to the floor. 

Your breathing grew more shallow as spots began to fill your vision. You have died twice now, this your third. Still, the fear had not left you. Only the feeling of Spock’s embrace tethered you. 

“Spock,” you whispered before your vision went dark once more. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You woke up gasping, your hand reaching for your throat as you sat up in bed. 

“What the hell?” you bit out. You threw the blankets off your bed and quickly got dressed. 

You opened your door walking towards the direction of the bridge. You bumped into Ensign Sigala who nearly spilled the coffee all over himself. 

“L/N, I’m so sorry! I wanted to-” 

“Not now Sigala, sorry!” you yelled out as you broke into a run. You felt breathless as you ran. You just needed to get to him. You could calm down once your eyes met his. 

You turned a corner to see Spock ready to walk onto the bridge. Quickly, you grabbed him by the sleeve and led him to a maintenance shaft. 

You stood directly in front of him. There was little space between you both. Your breathing came rapidly, your nerves and anxiety becoming newly unbearable. 

“What the hell was that?” you questioned, your eyes finding his. You almost took a step back, he looked tired. You didn’t think it was possible for Spock to look anything other than pristine. 

“I….do not know,” he managed to say, his eyes never leaving yours. 

“Why would that happen to Christine? I thought we only reset in the turbolift, but what if-” you stammered, “I don’t understand any of this.” 

You rubbed your face in frustration, anger and tears mixing together as your emotions boiled over the surface. You tried to steady yourself, crying wouldn’t help either one of you now. 

You could see the look of fear on Christine’s face, shock and confusion in her final expression. You closed your eyes, squeezing them shut. 

“We must continue to try and determine what is causing the anomaly.” Spock spoke gently as if trying to help ground you. 

Your eyes flicked to him, frustration clear across your face. “What do you suggest?”

“We can attempt to discuss this with the Captain and the bridge.” Spock’s expression was unreadable. There was something there - a lingering expression in his eyes that spoke of more than just exhaustion. 

“Okay,” you replied, your eyes downcast. “After you,” you signaled. Spock held your gaze for a beat more before straightening his posture and walking towards the bridge. 

You walked together silently as the bridge doors opened. 

“Ah, Spock there you are.” Captain Pike smiled warmly, “And Lieutenant L/N, this is a bit of a surprise. To what do we owe the honor?”

“Captain, if we may speak in private?” Spock stepped forward. Captain Pike gave him a questioning gaze. “Number One, the bridge is yours.” 

You both followed the Captain to his quarters. Your own anxiety began to flare up as Captain Pike leaned back against his ready room table. 

“Alright, which one of you wants to tell me what’s going on?” 

“We’re stuck in some sort of time loop,” you quickly said. 

“Excuse me?” Captain Pike spared you both a questioning look. 

“We have repeated the events of the day three times.” 

“I got that part Spock - I mean what is causing this to happen?” 

“I’m not sure,” you added, “last time we tried to figure out a medical reason Christine and I - we sort of choked to death. Every time before that Spock and I fell to our deaths in a turbolift.” 

“We believe it has something to do with the anomaly that has been intercepting our scanners,” Spock spared a glance at you before turning his attention back to Captain Pike. 

“The storm?” Pike reasoned. 

“Yes, Sir,” you breathed out. 

“Have we had this conversation before?” Pike was giving you both his full attention now. 

“No, but we -” 

“Captain Pike to the bridge!” Number One’s voice cried out through the intercom. “All crew prepare for a red alert!” 

“What-” 

All three of you were jostled to the side as the Enterprise lurched forward. A sickening groaning sound filled the room. 

You fumbled around for your data pad, your eyes looking at the current readings of the warp core. “It’s a core meltdown, we’re losing the antimatter containment. If we don’t eject the core…”

Captain Pike looked at you both, “Has this-” 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You sat up quickly, your hand clutching your chest. You knew what had happened of course, the core breach had occurred, leaving the Enterprise to explode. 

You quickly got dressed, not caring for your appearance or data pad. You simply marched out of your door, avoiding by instinct everyone in your way. 

“L/N, I brought-” 

“Not now, Sigala,” you grumbled before making your way to Spock. You found him as you did before waiting for you in front of the bridge doors. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but you simply waved him off, “Let’s just get this over with.” 

“Ah, Spock there you are.” Captain Pike smiled warmly, “And Lieutenant L/N, this is a bit of a surprise. To what do we owe the honor?”

You let out an annoyed breath, Spock remained neutral. 

“Captain if we may-” 

“We need to talk to you, Captain, in private. La’an, you can come too,” you added making your way out the doors. 

You could feel everyone on the bridge looking at you, but you could not find the will to care. 

“Apologies, Captain, but Lieutenant L/N, is correct.” 

“Alright”, Captain Pike managed to get out. Wordlessly, you followed Captain Pike to his ready room. 

“Which one of you wants to tell me what’s going on?” Pike looked between the three of you, but La’an simply shrugged in confusion. 

“We wake up everyday, living the same day. We live, we die, we do it again,” you grumbled out. 

“I’m sorry?” La’an, narrowed her eyes at you in confusion. 

“I don’t know how I can make this more clear,” you sighed, rubbing the temples of your forehead. You could feel Spock’s eyes on you, but he made no move to correct your behavior. 

“We believe it has to do with the anomaly, with the storm it is quite possible we are experiencing a Cauchy Horizon.”

“What have you done so far?” Pike questioned. 

“We have spoken with Nurse Chapel, to her demise, and to you, Captain, to the demise of the whole crew.” 

“What exactly do you mean by demise?” La’an crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Christine and I choke to death and the Enterprise has a core meltdown,” you whispered half heartedly.

“And prior to-” 

“Captain Pike to the bridge!” Number One’s voice cried out through the intercom. “All crew prepare for a red alert!” 

“Oh, come one!” you yelled, throwing your hands up in exasperation. You didn’t wait to go through the motions, simply closing your eyes and waiting for the flash. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You both attempted ten more times. Ten more deaths of the Enterprise crew where the ship either had a core meltdown, a breach in the hull, or a gas leak. 

Every attempt you made drove you more and more to madness. 

You needed a break. You needed to just go through a loop without watching all of your friends die. 

You didn’t bother putting on your uniform, opting for more comfortable clothing. You slowly made your way towards Spock. 

“L/N, I have-” 

“Thanks, Sigala,” you mumbled, taking the coffee and walking in the opposite direction. 

You shuffled over to the bridge, where Spock looked at you questioningly. He, like you, had grown to look more disheveled as the loops continued. His usual pristine Vulcan appearance was growing more weary. 

“I think we can take a loop,” you sighed. “Don’t you?” 

He looked at you, really looked at you. “What do you have in mind?”

“Oh, I got a couple ideas.” 

You swore you almost saw his mouth twitch in a smile, “Lead the way,” he started borrowing the term from you. 

You smiled widely back at him. Yeah, you both deserved a loop, maybe two. 

[2stepadmiral]

So every year or two, I go through a period of reconnecting with my high school Trekkie interests, rewatching some Star Trek clips, episodes, and movies, and during this particular period, I have to voice my main criticism of the reboot films: namely, the treatment of the Enterprise.

To be clear, I think the reboot Enterprise had a nice redesign. She looked very clean and futuristic while capturing the original design in broad strokes. The lens glare is certainly annoying, and it doesn’t have the same heart and retro feel as the original, but I feel they generally did a fairly decent job with the design. I’m talking about how she is treated throughout the films, namely, how she’s treated effectively like just another ship.

In the original series, the Enterprise has a certain heart coming across almost like a character in of herself. You get a clear feel from the characters that they consider the enterprise almost to be home, and Kirk and Scotty in particular see her almost like an actual woman, one who they cherish and will protect at all costs. This sentiment is magnified in the first three movies, particularly in the motion picture and in the search for Spock. When Kirk first sees the refit Enterprise, you can see how much he loves the ship, and when the Enterprise is plunging to her final resting place, the mourning on all of their faces, especially Kirk, makes this moment particularly powerful and truly hammer home that the Enterprise was a character in and of herself. The original Enterprise felt like a character fans had grown up with, and her destruction felt almost like the loss of an old friend. And at the end of the voyage home, when the crew has that last-minute surprise reveal of the Enterprise-A, the triumph and homecoming feeling is so clear that even the audience shares the sentiment, almost as if the character has been reborn.

The enterprise in the reboots was never portrayed this way. She was treated like just a ship, one that might’ve been nicer and fancier and more advanced than the others, but not really all that special beyond that. In the first movie, that’s acceptable, as the focus is on bringing together the crew and getting them where they need to be for the start of their journeys. The second one focuses more on the captaincy, and what it means to really earn that seat, so it’s excusable that this one focused more on Kirk and how seriously he took his responsibilities, though they could’ve put more emphasis on the ship as part of that arc. Yes, the ship almost crashing was an emotional scene, but that had everything to do with the characters aboard and nothing to do with the ship beyond it being the place where the characters were and it’s damage being the reason that they were about to die.

And then in the third one, they just blow up the ship in the first 30 minutes and try to portray it with the same sentimental weight as the destruction of the Enterprise in the search for Spock. Which would’ve been fine, if it weren’t for the fact that they spent the last two movies treating the enterprise like just a thing, just another tool in the characters belt. She had no heart, no soul, no feeling that she was a home, or that she was the thing that brought the crew together, and kept them together, the thing that made them a family. She was basically just a big car, there to get them from point A to point B and occasionally shoot at some bad guys, and then, we’re supposed to feel devastated when she goes down for the final time.

The reveal of a reboot version of the Enterprise A was a nice surprise, but it lacked the emotional payoff of the original version, largely because of how ordinary the first Enterprise had been in this timeline. You can’t really celebrate the revival of a lost character when the character was never really there to begin with. They might as well have put the crew on an entirely new ship, like maybe a rebooted version of the Excelsior, and it would’ve had the same basic impact.

My point is that classic trek, as well as the next generation and DS9, did an excellent job of portraying the dynamic between captain and ship to the point where the ship felt almost like a real character. And that worked really well. It made the crash of the Enterprise D in generations a shocking scene, and it made her surprise return in season 3 of Picard a heartfelt and deeply nostalgic scene (Even if I wanted the Enterprise E, sorry but she’s my favorite). It made the loss of the Defiant in season seven of DS9 a powerful and emotional moment. I haven’t watched a lot of Voyager, so I can’t comment on that, but I can say with decent confidence that they couldn’t have done worse than they did in the reboots.

[theflowerofhumanity]

Rewrite the Stars

Spock was the son of a renowned Vulcan diplomat. He had graduated Starfleet Academy with honors and was now a decorated officer serving aboard one of the fleet’s flagships as both the head of its Science division and its second-in-command. Despite the lingering mistrust sometimes expressed by his fellow crew members, he was well-respected on the Enterprise…even liked.

Spock was also beginning to panic. His well-ordered mind was in turmoil.

He’d gone to Sickbay in search of Dr. McCoy but had found only the head nurse, Miss Chapel. Though she was a smart and lovely young woman to be sure, Spock hadn’t had time for small talk even if he’d had an aptitude for such things. Not when an unstable crewman, infected by whatever had killed six members of the science team they’d planned to pick up on Psi 2000, had cut off all their power. Now the ship was hurtling into the rapidly-disintegrating planet’s atmosphere. In half an hour, all four hundred of them would be dead unless the senior officers could regain control.

Nurse Chapel had by that time been exposed to the contagion as well. Scientist that he was, Spock should have considered the possibility before he ever left the Bridge. Instead, he was alone in Sickbay with a very different woman from the one he thought he knew. I’m in love with you, Mr. Spock, she’d said as  she cradled his hands between her soft ones. He couldn’t question the sincerity of her words. Not only had he actually felt the affection radiating off of her, he’d seen it in her earnest blue eyes, too. A man could drown in those eyes, he thought. I love you just as you are. She lacked both any of the misgivings or residual prejudice towards Vulcans he frequently encountered among humans…and also all of her usual inhibitions. He knew that she would never have spoken these feelings aloud of her own accord. As someone who’d spent his entire life learning to control the powerful emotions some people thought Vulcans simply didn’t have, Spock ached for her.

But what had he said? I’m sorry. That was all. I’m sorry. Then he had run away from the lovelorn nurse as whatever biochemical agent that had compelled her to profess her love for him began to tear down his own mental walls. He’d run because he was afraid—of himself.

Now here he was, trembling and fighting back tears in a rec room. Part of his mind remained keenly aware of their dire reality. All he could think of, though, was of Nurse Chapel and of his mother. His soft-spoken, pretty human mother with her sweet smile and easy laugh�� I’ll always love you, no matter where you go or what you do, Spock—I’ll always be proud of you. Hot tears welled up in Spock’s eyes. Had he ever told her that he loved her, too? That without her, he would not have survived his often-difficult childhood or had the courage to stand up to his father…?

And all he’d been able to choke out in reply to Nurse Chapel was I’m sorry!

He covered his face with his hands and sucked in a long, shuddering breath.

@multirptrash ♥

[sleepymccoy]

hey!! sorry if this is a bother but i know /nothing/ about star trek & i’m curious about the dubcon comic—why is it that spock can’t consent? is it some sort of space magic, or like his species (i know they Feel Emotions Differently, or something)? i’m just curious 👉👈💌

It's referencing a particular episode! People like me would have recognised it from the first short, between the choking and the red background it clearly communicates to fans that this is an All Our Yesterdays riff. So there's precise canon premise that you, as someone I know hasn't watched star trek cos you lovingly tag me in any trek you see, couldn't possibly know

I might mangle this, but basically they go significantly back in time, back before Vulcans developed their we reject emotion society. Cos Vulcans are mildly telepathic creatures Spock struggles with his emotions despite his being raised logical, because the hubbub of Vulcan vibes in the background are all totally wild with it. So he's both upset to experience how violent historical Vulcans were, and he's embarassed that he can't keep control, and he takes it out on McCoy big time. He spends most of the ep sweating bullets and trying to keep from throwing a punch

I've added gifs hoping it'd explain the vibes, but tumblr's gif search function is so tiresome. McCoy goads him relentlessly, but within their norm, and Spock is the one acting very differently. Cos all he's hearing is anger in his head. McCoy also gets very cold cos it's an ice planet and he thinks they're going to die so he's lashing out a bit too. It's a mess

That last one ^ I forgot about the subplot completely lol, but he falls for some random hot woman who's around. So that goes in favour of my comic saying Spock might release some tension by forcing himself on McCoy! I had forgotten all about that tho lol. Spock wants to stay and live with her and McCoy, cos he's not afraid to stand up to Spock, basically bullies him into agreeing to return to the enterprise

But yeah, if you're looking for safe sane and consensual, this ain't safe for McCoy. Spock has already choked him and hit him, which isn't normal. It isn't sane for Spock cos he's struggling with a new and upsetting mental barrage. So it's not consensual. But it's still hot 😘

Here's a link to the comic

[museaway]

Excited to be working with @invisible-brandy for @thylabang's Shore Leave! Here is an excerpt from the fic that will accompany their beautiful art. We'll be posting on June 15th! TOS Kirk/Spock, set sometime after Search for Spock

“We’ll be lucky to make it back before the rain.” Jim patted his stomach. “Maybe I ought to take a walk more often.”

“Dr. McCoy will be pleased to hear it.”

“I’m not going to tell him I said that, and neither will you.”

“Yes, dear.”

Jim laughed and whipped his head to the side. “Who taught you to say that?”

“My mother often uses the expression when speaking with my father. Was my usage incorrect?”

“Just unexpected. I thought I was lucky enough when you finally called me Jim again. I never expected pet names.”

“If it pleases you, I will use them more often.”

“Not too often. I don’t want to become spoiled.”

[t0ast-ghost]

Star Trek III: The Search For Spock thoughts!

Wow Wrath of Khan left us on a total cliffhanger so I’m glad I can just watch the next movie instead of waiting (checks google) …2 years. Goddamn. Anyway!

Warning for strong language and spoilers

Let’s get schmoving:

- They’re throwing us RIGHT BACK IN with the saddest scene ever

- SAREKS GONNA BE IN THIS ONE?! Hi bitch

- KLINGONS RAHHHH

- GET YOUR FUCKING DOG BITCH (edit: I love the Klingon monster dog <3)

- is that Janice Rand?

- Who’s in Spock’s room??

- CHEKOV ACTUALLY GETS TO SPEAK RUSSIAN

- “Jim, help me.” WHAT WHAT WHAT

- Jim lost one husband and the other is possessed by spirits and having visions

- McCoy can do a pretty good Spock impression

- McCoy is now two husbands in one. Two for the price of one kinda deal

- Stabbing me would elicit less emotion.

- LET SCOTTY REST OR LET HIM STAY ON THE ENTERPRISE

- Kirk has lost both his husbands and is now losing his ship. When will the pain and suffering cease?

- they slay

- Saavik commenting on how David is human like Kirk. Saavik saying fascinating like Spock. David and Saavik working together like the awesome siblings they are. I’m getting everything from this movie

- Did they have to make Sulu slay that hard? Yes.

- THEY PUMPED MCCOY FULL OF TRANQUILIZERS ?!? NO!!

- HII BITCH! It’s ambassador Sarek!

- “Sarek, your son meant more to me than you could know. I would give my life if it could save his.” That’s- nevermind. They’re husbands. Yada yada you get it

- okay. So Sarek was helpful. That’s a… rare occurrence

- “Then it’s my responsibility.” “Yours?” Yes! Of course it’s Kirk’s! They’re his husbands!

- “You’ll destroy yourself. Do you understand me, Jim?” The only people Jim would understand in these circumstances are mayybe Spock and McCoy but they’re not here. So he’s gonna do something stupid.

- Sulu’s outfit is going so hard

- McCoy’s at the club? He should be at the club!

- I LOBE HIS SPOCK COMING OUT OMG “to order poison at a bar is not logical.” God he’s got tho (edit: got what?)

- McCoy mixed with Spock is so funny cause it’s all of McCoy’s anger tampered down with a couple of added in logic’s

- HE TRIED TO NERVE PINCH HIM AND FAILED WHAT A LOSER LOL

- babygirl sleeping position

- “Revenge for all the arguments I won.” I like how McCoy knows Spock would be that petty

- Kirk not afraid to punch a bitch

- Sulu flips a guy IN HEELS and then proceeds to destroy a console… icon shit. He’s my hero “don’t call me tiny.”

- “Up your shaft.” Scotty ain’t taking shit

- This kid is about to get ratioed by Uhura so hard. I love her. SHE PULLED A GUN ON HIS ASS

- They’re so hot in this movie holy crap

- “Are you just gonna walk through them?!” “Calm yourself, Doctor.”

- McCoy’s standing there on the bridge after they escape the loading dock like ‘..did they just hijack and deactivate an entire starship for me?’

- Saavik’s hair is so cool

- IS THAT A CHILD

- ‘Marcus believes that Genesis has regrown Mr. Spock’ the captain is so shook like ‘uhhhhhh.. that’s amazing?…!’

- Tiny Spock is so cute omg

- welp.. Klingons

- BONES WITH SPOCKS VOICE IS SO FREAKY WTF

- A dick monster just attacked the Klingons

- Saavik must be relieved to hear her dad’s husband Kirk’s come to rescue them

- OHHH GOD. They’re gonna kill David. Oh no. Davids gonna die. He’s dead oh god. Kirk’s defeated little “David?” Oh my… god

- THEY KEPT THE “zero zero zero destruct zero” CODE??? That’s so funny

- Super cool moment. Love them

- He was having his period (edit: who? Probably Kirk? Not sure) (edit edit: it’s about young Spock grabbing his stomach in pain from pon farr but to be fair Kirk is the usual suspect for grabbing his stomach when in pain)

- So… they’re in hell. The planet is becoming a fire pit

- “Sorry about your crew, but as we say on earth c’est la vie.” God. this bitch.

- Kirk not afraid to kick a bitch… into lava

- “Help us or die.” “I do not deserve to live.” “Fine, I’ll kill you later.” Kirk is sooo done. He’s done.

- “Wait. You said you would kill me.” “I lied.”

- McCoy asking Spock for help D:

- I’m not ready for this moment- and neither is my computer cause it’s low power

- “I’m gonna tell you something that I never thought I’d hear myself say. But it seems I’ve missed you, and I don’t know if I could stand to lose you again.” mccoy- what what. What. What what. What

- I like the little hug between Kirk and Uhura

- Scotty looking between Saavik and the ceremony like ‘what the f- heck is going on?’

- So, Bones is alive. yippee!

- Saavik looking down and away from Spock when he gives her no emotion is so telling. She feels bad.

- “Why would you do this?” “Because the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.” JUST SAY YOU LOVE HIM smh

- They’re just staring at each other for a solid couple of seconds which I- personally - think should have been utilized by Spock going to kiss Kirk

- Leonard is so happy to have Spock back

- Group hug ! :3

That was pretty good. I enjoyed a lot of the McCoy scenes and the David and Saavik stuff. I like in the end credits they finally include Leonard Nimoy’s name because in the opening it would have been spoilers to have all the ‘as Spock’ actors names. Welp onto the next.

Masterpost

[hiccupmistress]

Beware MAJOR spoilers for season 3 of Star Trek: Picard

Something about my Star Trek fandom that I’ve talked about elsewhere but only ever really hinted at on Tumblr is how and when I first got into Star Trek. Strictly speaking, my first encounter with the franchise was when I would have been about 11 or 12, I think. A TV channel was showing a one-per-week marathon of all the Star Trek movies (Nemesis was out by this point, but 2009 was still a ways off). I was too young to really appreciate it at the time, I guess; I have small memories of seeing bits of Search For Spock, Voyage Home, First Contact and Nemesis during that TV marathon, and I liked it, but I didn’t get that into it at the time. I saw the 2009 movie when it came out, but as someone with only a little bit of Star Trek experience, I simply enjoyed it as a summer blockbuster and moved on with my life.

But then around 2011, a friend on Steam messaged me asking if I liked Star Trek - apparently some online game had just gone free-to-play, and the friend wondered if I was interested in trying it out. Since I had a passing familiarity with the movies and remembered enjoying them as a kid, I figured why not and then my whole life changed forever.

Star Trek Online was (and still is) full of so many pieces of lore and information and references to past shows that it utterly piqued my interest and prompted me to start watching all the shows.

As a result of STO being my main introduction to Star Trek though, be it in its original 'Odyssey Class' configuration or its (non-canon) 'Yorktown-Type' refit configuration, the Enterprise-F is "my" Enterprise, in much the same way as those who grew up watching the early movies call the Constitution-Refit “their” enterprise, or those who grew up watching TNG call the Galaxy Class "their" Enterprise and so on. That was the big hero-flagship when I was getting into Star Trek for the first time. There was a point (like a decade ago) in the game where you could go see the Enterprise any time you wanted by looking out the window in the ship requisitions room on Spacedock. I remember standing there and being in awe of it as it loomed over the requisitions room.

I am THRILLED that Star Trek Picard made the ‘Oddy’ canon. Yes, it was disappointing that "my" Enterprise was sidelined after about 30 seconds on screen; we'd known for some time that the Enterprise-F was to be slated for "early decommission" in Picard season 3, and I'd gotten used to that fact, but I wasn't ready to see an Enterprise-G quite so soon. I actually briefly went through the stages of grief over it, not going to lie, but I've made peace with it now.

I look forward to seeing what adventures Captain Seven and First Officer Raffi have on the Enterprise-G (Star Trek: Legacy?), and I'm hoping that at some point, we might get a show, or at least flashbacks, set on or around the Enterprise-F during its prime (maybe Prodigy, since its about the right point in the timeline, as per Terry Matalas and Dave Blass’ lore about when the canon version of the ‘F’ launched).

As much as I would have liked to see more of it in those episodes, the Odyssey Class Enterprise-F, "my" Enterprise, will forever be part of Star Trek canon now and I am so grateful!

[dira333]

Father and Son - Spock x reader -  part 1

part 2

if you remember reading this on tumblr, good to see you again, old friend. I’m reposting this back on tumblr.

Prompt: “But why is the moon gone?” - Spock

“And Franklin the toad looked up at the sky, searching for the moon that was gone. He looked between the stars, behind the sun and at the edges of the sky where the twilight twinkled, but he couldn’t find it-”

“But why is the moon gone?” The little boy asks.

You sigh softly, looking down into dark questioning eyes.

“Well, Franklin the toad is asking the same thing. Do you want me to read more to find out?”

“Is it New Moon?” The boy asks, “Father explained that during New Moon the Moon isn’t visible from earth.”

“That is true. Do you know why?”

“Sun and Moon have aligned in a way that Earth is on the opposite side of it so that the side of the moon that’s facing Earth is lacking the light of the sun.”

“That’s right. How smart of you.” You push your fingers through his dark hair and watch him blush a proud shade of green.

“Are you going to read me the rest of the story?”

“Do you want me to?” You ask, “Your Dad asked me to stay with you until you fall asleep but we don’t have to read stories for children if you’re so grown up already.”

“Well grandfather told me that grandmother used to read stories to father too, so yes please.”

You smile at that. Who would have thought that Commander Spock has a soft heart for Children’s stories?

“He looked between the stars, behind the sun and at the edges of the sky where the twilight twinkled, but he couldn’t find it and Franklin grew worried. The moon was his friend and as a friend, he had to look out for the moon…”

-

“And Franklin looked up at the sky and waved to his friend, the moon, who waved back, happy to be home again.”

You close the book softly, looking down at the boy who’s sound asleep now. You right the thin blanket around his feet, pulling yourself away from him before you get up and press the panel to open the door.

Commander Spock is waiting right outside.

“He’s asleep,” you tell him, “Franklin the toad can get every child to sleep.”

“How is he?” He asks, touching your shoulder lightly to get a better look on how you’re feeling.

You’re calm, collected and convinced when you answer.

“He is feeling well. He is not afraid of speaking about you or his grandparents, although he hasn’t really spoken about his mother. He does not seem traumatized, nor is he asking about home.”

“Thank you for your assessment.”

He takes his hand back and turns as if he wants to leave. You should leave it at that.

You’re just a communication officer with a degree in psychology. You’re just a crewman he trusts with assessing with his son but not enough to have told you of this son beforehand.

It seems that hardly anyone on board had none of the little boy or his mother, an Ambassador raising their child on Phi13 until she became fatally ill and couldn’t care it anymore.

Commander Spock does not seem to mourn her, but Vulcan’s aren’t really known for showing their emotions openly.

Commander Spock also does not seem to know what to do with the child he could have only seen during short leaves.

You don’t know what has gotten into you if you have a soft spot for the child or the man or both, but you take his elbow, stopping the Commander from getting away.

“I don’t want to push myself onto you, but what are you going to do?”

“What are you referring to?”

“The boy. Your son, commander. Are you going to keep him here or leave the ship to go to New Vulcan or Phi13 with him?”

He raises his eyebrows at you, telling you without words that you’re overstepping unwritten boundaries.

If you want to say anything else about this topic, you have to say it fast.

“I apologize beforehand for my choice of words, but you don’t seem familiar with him. The long time apart might have estranged you from each other. I’d like to help you get to know each other so you can decide wisely, considering his wishes as well as yours.”

You look up at him, almost breathlessly, adding a soft “Please” when he does not respond immediately.

“One week,” he tells you, “To show me progress.”

-

“Hey!” You peek around the corners of Commander Spock’s ready room that has been temporarily turned into the child’s room, “Do you want to play a game?”

The boy sets down the PADD he must have been reading on, looking at you. He looks just like his father, the same eyes, the same hair and haircut, just his nose is a tiny bit different and he has a softer way of talking that he must have learned from his mother.

“What game do you have in mind?”

“I suppose you know chess?” You step into the room, holding up an old-fashioned Terran version of the popular game.

The boy has the audacity to roll his eyes at you.

“There are more advanced versions of this that would be more challenging.”

“Well, I’m sorry, that standard chess is not challenging enough for you,” you tell him, remembering with a smile that he’s still only 8 years old, “Because today’s task is not winning, but teaching. You’ll have to teach me how to play first.”

“You don’t know chess?” He looks utterly surprised at that fact.

“When I was your age,” you tell him, “There used to be a cafe down the street where we went to every day. I helped to serve and learned sentences in as many languages as I could to greet the customers.”

“Your parents have a cafe?” He asks, setting up the game.

“They had. They sold it so they could travel the world before they retire.”

“Are they still alive?” He asks and you smile at him.

“They are. I got a holo message from Mumbai last week. If you want I can show it to you later.”

“Maybe,” he tells you, pointing towards the Chess game, “Let us play first.”

-

You hear the door swish and keep another smile to yourself. Right on time.

“Oh, Commander Spock,” you turn to send him a smile, “Your son is teaching me how to play Chess. Why don’t you take a seat and watch? I think I’m a pretty fast learner.”

“She has managed to make some moves without my help,” your young teacher tells and Spock takes a seat without another word to watch you.

“No,” he speaks up five games later, reaching out his right hand to stop you from moving your knight, “If you do this, he will beat you in at least three moves.”

“Well, thank you for the advice,” you tell him, pulling your hand back, “But we will have to ask my teacher if you’re allowed to help me.”

You both look towards his son, who is clearly enjoying the fact that he’s allowed to decide.

“He may. Maybe you can win at least once with his help.”

“That does sound like a challenge, Commander Spock, don’t you think?”

Twenty minutes later you excuse yourself for a quick toilet break. They tell you they will wait for your return, but when you step back into the room, they’re focused on playing again. You get something to drink and take a seat on the side, not wanting to leave when it’s finally so peaceful.

[spocks-longterm-boyfriend]

Bigger Fish to Fry

This is my first time writing fic ever! Inspired by a post by @spirtkrek linked here where she headcannoned spock as having a little glowing minnow that he's obsessed with. I sat down and listened to there's something going on by frida and this is what happened! Thanks!

The ship thrummed comfortingly beneath his feet as Kirk hurried through the hall towards the officer’s quarters. He assured himself that he was in fact moving at an entirely normal pace, just with purpose, and due purpose at that. Kirk had, to no avail, been seeking out Spock since the end of Alpha shift, which had now ended a standard hour prior. After not having located him in the labs or the officer’s mess that his first officer most often frequented after a typical alpha shift, Kirk had messaged Spock to ask of his plans for the evening and been met with no response. While Kirk would normally just have been disappointed that the Vulcan had departed so quickly after shift, when they often left in a natural tandem, at the present he found himself genuinely concerned at his first officer’s rate of exit. Spock had left in a hurry, after a relatively-trouble free shift, and Kirk felt it would be remiss of him not to see what might have disturbed his typically level mannerisms– even if Uhura had wrongfully chided him for being lovesick and overprotective as he caught her to ask after Spock on the way to the mess. 

As he moved along his ship’s corridors, Kirk found himself mentally searching for an answer to Spock’s rapid departure from the bridge. Kirk felt that in the past year and a half of their working together Spock and himself had developed a strong working relationship and even a tentative friendship. Although, its tentative nature came more so from Kirk’s apprehension to breach what he perceived as Spock’s level of comfort with him than any reservation of his own. He knew that Spock was more reserved than himself in regard to defining his relations, and while they found themselves together often in their off hours, and Kirk trusted him more than just about anyone other than Bones, he hesitated to label himself as Spock’s friend. Nevertheless, he felt confident that Spock would have responded to Kirk’s inquiry at his status for the evening if something were not occupying his attention, and paired with his quick exit from the bridge, Kirk found himself concerned. 

Kirk rounded the last corner on the way to his and Spock’s neighboring quarters and directed himself to Spock’s door, pressing the door chime quickly and moving to straighten his command golds. If Spock were truly in distress, it wouldn’t serve either of them for Kirk to be a mess at his door. It also gave him something to do with his hands as he awaited an answer. After a moment, the door opened, revealing a seemingly undisturbed Spock, save for a nearly undetectable look of surprise somewhere between his angled brows. 

“Captain? I find myself surprised at your arrival. Have we received further orders from the admiralty regarding Draylon II?” Spock inquired, seeming to bring even further severity to the angle of his posture and to begin mental preparation for another night of meeting unforeseen challenges in their journey through the stars. Kirk admired the way in which Spock dedicated himself so wholly to their crew, it often felt as though he was the only first officer in the ‘Fleet who could love and serve the Enterprise and her crew as much and as entirely as Kirk did, but in this moment, Kirk felt sorry for the almost imperceptible softness he had just scared away from Spock’s frame. It was not often that Spock let himself fully relax, and it had taken months for Kirk to see that slight relaxation in his shoulders during their more-than-weekly chess matches or time spent off shift alongside the bridge crew.

“No, no, Mr. Spock, my apologies. I’m not here on ship business– although I appreciate the reminder that I need to bother Komack about what is keeping the admiralty from giving us orders with the trade conference so rapidly approaching. Would you mind looking into any addresses made by Draylon II’s planetary leaders at the start of next Alpha shift? I’m going to see if I can draw any conclusions from intra-fleet communication,” Kirk responded, furrowing his expression, before remembering what had brought him to Spock’s door in the first place. “Anyways, Mr. Spock. I came because you left the bridge in a hurry today and I was worried that something might have caused you concern on shift– or otherwise,” Kirk inquired, quickly saving himself from seeming to concerned by joking, “Can’t have the best command team in the fleet working at anything less than our best, now can we?” Kirk shuffled slightly as he recovered, realizing with embarrassment how disproportionate his concern was beginning to seem to the situation at hand. 

“Apologies are illogical, Captain. To your first point, I will search for any pertinent communications at the start of the next Alpha shift, in addition to contacting my father regarding the approaching conference. It is possible that in his role as Ambassador he has come across more information in discussion with other officials than we will find through more traditional research avenues. To your second point, I did not intend to cause concern with my exit from the bridge following Alpha shift. I was preoccupied by a development in a recent experiment and departed with greater speed than usual, so as to not miss any further development,” Spock finished, bringing a tinge of guilt to Kirk’s mind. 

“Ah, very appropriate of you, Mr. Spock. As illogical as it may be, I apologize for interrupting any study you may have been making and I will leave you to it,” Kirk remarked, bracing himself for an awkward walk back towards the officer’s mess and recreation halls, where he was sure Uhura would be ready to make fun of him for his unnecessary worry-warting. 

“Captain–” Spock began, raising his immaculate brows ever so slightly and bringing a pause to Kirk initiating his walk of shame. “If you have a moment, I would be available to share with you its preliminary findings.”

“Of course, Mr. Spock.” Kirk answered, confused at the apprehension that seemed to cross Spock’s face at his own offer and following the man into his quarters. As he followed Spock inside, Kirk braced himself for the familiarly comforting wall of heat. In recent weeks, he found himself offering just as often to come to Spock’s quarters for their chess matches as he volunteered to host them in his own, knowing that the heat must bring Spock considerable comfort in comparison to the comparable cold of the rest of the Enterprise. Kirk also couldn’t deny his own appreciation of the Vulcan’s quarters– they were warm in a way that he could only ever find comforting, but also tinged with a spicy aroma that was distinct to Spock, and covered in so much of Spock’s taste in interior design and personality that it felt remarkable to be allowed inside. He couldn’t think of an event in their budding friendship that had felt as vulnerable as when Spock first invited Kirk to meet in his quarters after a shift, knowing that the man kept the space primarily for his own solitary study and meditation. In all honesty, today felt no different than that first time, as Kirk found himself warmed that Spock wanted to share his findings with him, in his role as Captain or not. 

As they reached a stop in Spock’s quarters, Kirk found himself brought before a moderately-sized, boxy glass structure filled with water and a number of brightly colored plants, drawn away from the beauty of the display by a tension in Spock’s frame. Upon further examination, Kirk believed the Vulcan to be distressed, but could only see a light akin to joy in his eyes. 

“Dr. Tesfaye of the exobiology department was able to secure approval from the admiralty for… private study– of some of the lifeforms from Cambrius VI,” Spock explained with a tone Kirk might characterize as hesitant glee, if Spock were any more expressive in his tone. 

“Wait a minute, are these the pets the Admiralty had me sign off on? Those bioluminescent minnows from that gorgeous ocean on Cambrius VI a couple of months back? The report said that they were found to be largely harmless and well-suited to solitary lives, when provided with regular periods of both light and darkness, because of the pattern of light refraction that affects the oceans of the planet, what with its angled revolution around its star. This is what you were so hurried to check in on after the shift today?” Kirk questioned, jovially. 

“Yes, Captain,” Spock answered hesitantly, with a tension Kirk might choose to identify as bashfulness on any other, non-Vulcan, member of his crew. After a short, well-meaning laugh, Kirk set to put his first officer at ease, completely taken by this new side of Spock. The captain began to ask Spock about his study of the minnow, paying even more attention to the minute expressions on the Vulcan’s face than the information he rapidly relayed between questions. If Spock were more prone to emotional intonation, Kirk might label his speech a gleeful infodump, but out of respect for his first officer’s sensibility, he cataloged it in his brain as a key study in a new lifeform taking up residency on their ship. 

After a time, Kirk paused the taller man to ask a question that he could not will from his brain without an answer, “Mr. Spock, thank you so much for sharing with me your study of a lifeform I was previously hesitant to approve for long-term residency on our ship and for sharing your detailed study with me, but I find myself with one important question left unanswered.”

“Yes, Captain?” Spock inquired, with a slight raise of his brow, seeming to take notice of the way in which Kirk had paused the Vulcan’s stream of information-sharing for this inquiry in particular, unlike with his other questions.

“What is your little friend’s name, Mr. Spock?” Kirk teased, delighting in the playful exasperation he found on Mr. Spock’s face, rather than the confusion or irritation that he might usually find at both his playful teasing and his assumption of a friendship between Spock and his ‘subject of study’. When had they reached this point of comfort with one another? Had Kirk been wrong to believe their friendship was only tentative? After all, only he had found concern in Spock’s behavior following the Alpha shift, and only he had been invited into Spock’s quarters to see Spock’s ‘subject of study’. 

“Aristotle, Captain.” Spock responded, softly. Kirk was struck by what a feeling of trust emanated from such a simple response. 

“Because of his study of bioluminescence in early terran history?” Spock gave a brief nod. “That’s a lovely choice, Mr. Spock. Thank you for sharing with me.” 

“Yes, Captain,” Spock seemed to hesitate, bringing Kirk’s attention to the close stance they had accidentally assumed while leaning in beside one another to peer at little Aristotle. “I will update you on any relevant information I glean from my study of this species.” Spock finished, seeming to regain a sense of Vulcan propriety following such a period of relative excitement. 

Kirk smiled softly, taking only a small step back from his First Officer, “I would appreciate that greatly, Mr. Spock. I will appreciate anything you choose to share with me about little Ari here.” Kirk recognized the natural conclusion of their meeting and his own hunger after having missed his usual period in the mess halls following his shift. “I’m afraid I must leave you to your study, as…” Kirk paused to think of a sufficient excuse, “some of my… duties after our shift today kept me from my usual dining period following our shift.”

Spock tilted his head down briefly in a nod and began to walk Kirk back towards his quarters’ exit. Pausing briefly as he went to open the door, Spock turned to the captain, “Sir?”

“Yes, Mr. Spock?”

“I would be gratified if you were to join me in my quarters following Alpha shift tomorrow. I believe that some… geologic materials I procured for Aristotle’s tank will be arriving and I plan to set them up for further study. Your company would be appreciated.” 

Kirk couldn’t help the sunshine grin that overtook his face if he tried. “Of course, Mr. Spock. I would be happy to. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Leaving, Kirk felt all final tension from his earlier search exit his body. However, by his third turn on the way to the officer’s mess a new anxiety was rapidly creeping in. With Spock’s extensive knowledge of the last decade in marine exobiology findings and immense care for such a small creature, Kirk had reached his own terrifying conclusion: Spock was undeniably adorable, and Kirk now had less than a day to process that fact. Otherwise, his newly-discovered– although maybe not entirely new (that was a concern to process later)– taste for his first officer’s exobiology ramblings was going to cause him significant trouble the following evening. Uhura may have been more right than he was ready to admit.

[mybullshitsensesaretingling]

A Vulcan Smile Part Eight

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three] [Part Four] [Part Five] [Part Six] [Part Seven]

A/N: There's some questionable made-up Vulcan lore in this because there's not a whole lot of detail about their telepathic abilities given in the cannon. But, you know what, if the writers of SNW can make up whatever they want about Spock then fuck it so can I. yeehaw, baby

“You’re leaving.” Spock stood in the doorway to your bedroom, arms hanging at his side, shoulders stooped ever so slightly. His tone and expression were carefully crafted to not give any hint that he might be experiencing an emotion. At fourteen he was already well on his way to becoming the man he would grow to be. 

You didn’t look up from your packing. “I’m to be on the ship to Earth tomorrow. I am going to stay with the Graysons.” 

The Graysons. That’s what you had called them. It took you two years to refer to them as your grandparents. 

“You knew I would be leaving,” you said in his mind. You had always preferred the privacy that telepathy provided, even if casual usage wasn’t approved of by the High Council. 

“I knew he wanted you to leave,” he said in yours. 

Telepathic communication was one of the few of your less desirable behaviors he endulged. You didn’t understand why until you were much older and you realized that you had pushed him away too far and might never have this connection again. 

“What do you expect me to do?”

“Fight.”

Finally, you looked up at him. His eyes bore into you. They had such an intensity that anytime he let himself loose even just a little it felt like staring directly into a star. 

“You always fight. Why are you not now?”

“There’s nothing to fight. I want this.”

He moved further into you’re room. “You want to leave?” 

“I want to be somewhere else. Somewhere I am understood.” 

“And you believe that is Earth? Will they not just misunderstand the other half of you?” Spock asked. 

You sighed, rubbing a hand across your face. ”I’m tired, Spock. I’m tired of being ostracized for understanding that we were born with more than just a capacity for logic. I am tired of being treated like a failed experiment.”

There was more than that. You were tired of seeing him hurt. You were tired of watching him take the harassment. You were tired of being told just to accept the harassment and constant implications that you were less than. You were tired of being penalized for standing up for yourself and your brother. But you left it unsaid. Unthought, in case he was listening. 

“Human society is still young and ignorant. They will not accept you.” His eyes searched your face. “They will not understand you.”

“Maybe not, but at least I’ll be free to be me. I won’t be suffocated under the pressures of being the Ambassador’s hope for a greater relationship between our two races.” You sat down on your bed and stared out the window. “At least I will be told that I am loved.” 

A breeze blew through the leaves, partially obscuring your view of the red mountains and the rich orange sky. 

“I won’t miss it here,” you said out loud. You needed to hear it. You needed him to believe it. 

Now all you saw out the window was darkness and passing stars. You would never see the richness of those orange skies again. A fact the conference was intent on reminding you. 

Normally being around that many Vulcans was exhausting because it required you to choose between putting on an act or dealing with the unfettered scorn of the entire group. Neither option was without its downsides. But this event was focused on how to ensure the survival of the people and cultures of Vulcan now that it was gone. Not even Vulcans can fully suppress the level of sorrow that comes with losing a planet and having that many grief-stricken telepaths in one starbase was overwhelming. 

The favor you had paid Leonard only worsened your exhaustion. What had been bubbling out of you in aggression was now dripping out in fatigue. Your head felt heavy and cloudy. 

You had come to the rooms provided by the Captain with the intention of sleeping, but your mind was bent on replaying memories over and over and not giving you a moment's rest. 

Hauling yourself out of bed, you pulled your robes back on. One of the many concessions you had made in order to have your voice heard was to wear a traditional Vulcan dress. 

The bottom of your dress and robe swept across the floor as you walked through the corridor. You followed the smell of food and drinks. Even with your nasal numbing agent, it was strong. You hadn’t fully realized how many smells there would be on a ship this size. You didn’t know how Spock dealt with it every day. 

The smell led you to what looked like a bar. 

You walked a few paces from the door and clasped your hands, trying to figure out if there were replicators you were supposed to use or if there was someone you asked for food. 

“You should be resting,” Spock said, coming to stand by you. 

“I’m fine,” you answered automatically in his head, something you hadn’t done in years. You were suddenly more willing to fall back on old childhood habits than speak. 

He raised a brow at you but responded in kind, “You have not slept in days.” 

“I am well within the healthy limit.” 

“Not after such a taxing event.” 

“But I supposed it wasn’t taxing for you?” 

He bristled, realizing that he must think his next words more carefully if he wished to avoid an argument. “It was. However, my mind has always been less open than yours. You take on the suffering of those around you.” 

If only he knew just how true that was. 

“I’m fine,” you told him again. 

“Your mind is cluttered.” 

You glanced around the bar. “There’s a lot of people on your ship.” 

He looked you over, then spoke out loud, “Come with me.” 

You hesitated. You really just wanted to get something to eat and then go back to bed, but reluctantly, you followed him. 

The two of you moved quietly through the ship until you were in a smaller room with significantly fewer people. 

You exhaled. 

When you had denied the Vulcan teachings on emotional control, you had also denied the teachings on telepathy control. They went hand in hand under Serak’s teachings. Telepathy was turned inward to help suppress one's emotions. Without doing this you were left with far more unchecked telepathic power with no one to teach you what to do with it. At least no one you were allowed to talk to as a child. 

You had eventually figured it out and learned to control it and use it for good when you could, but you had never built up defenses the way most did. You hadn’t wanted to. Your mother had said that greeting the universe with an open heart and open mind made you more ready to learn. She was a sentimental woman. But she had also told you it would come at a cost. You knew that at least to be true. 

The thoughts of those around you were always in your head. Like murmuring from another room. You couldn’t make them out with conscious effort, but they were there. You had learned to tune them out when you were a teenager, but when you were tired and surrounded by others, they started to overtake your own thoughts. 

Spock led you to a table and told you to sit. You rested your head on your hand and waited for him to return. When he did, he placed a bowl in front of you. You stared down into the orange broth. 

Plomeek soup. 

You had despised it as a child. It was so bland and boring and never seemed to satisfy you. 

Picking up your head, you lifted a spoonful to your mouth. Your eyes slipped shut as you took in the subtle flavor. It tasted remarkably similar to the one your mother used to make. 

Finally, you spoke, “Thank you.” 

Spock nodded, watching as you slowly sipped the soup. 

“Have you considered meditating?” 

You rolled your eyes at the suggestion. 

“It has helped Vulcan’s for generations. Why you think it woul-” 

“Because I don’t subscribe to the idea that I need to suppress my emotions.” You focused your attention on your meal as you projected your thoughts into his mind. 

“A bit of suppression might benefit you.” 

“And a bit of expression might benefit you,” you responded in turn. 

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. 

“See, don’t you feel better?” You took another sip of soup. “And I did meditate.” 

“You could have just said that.” 

“Where’s the fun in that?” 

He rested his hands on the table. “It appears you are also feeling better.” 

“I’m starting to.” 

“Good.” His head turned as something else in the room caught his attention. “Excuse me. I need to converse with the Captain for a moment. I will be back.” 

You gave him a quick nod of recognition. He returned it and walked off. You focused your attention on your soup. The smell, the taste, the feel of it in your mouth. If you focused hard enough, everything else would fade into the background. At least that’s what you hoped would happen. 

Instead, a voice cut through your soup thoughts, “There you are.” 

You looked up to find Leonard smiling down at you. Glancing around, you saw that he was alone.

“I thought you were giving Jo a tour,” you said. Your voice sounded odd even to your own ears; horst and hallow.  

“I was. Just dropped her off to work on homework. When she saw you weren’t there anymore, she made me promise I’d find you and make sure you’re okay.” 

You raised an inquisitive eyebrow. 

“Jo’s worried you’re going to be attacked by a salt vampire.” 

“I think those safety lectures of yours did more harm than good,” you told him, dropping your chin to look straight ahead. 

“You alright, sweetheart?” 

You stiffened at the pet name. 

“Look worn slap out.” He put a hand on your shoulder. 

The images of his thoughts filled your mind, perfectly formed. You jerked away before you had time to process any of them. You couldn’t deal with anyone else in your head today. 

“Don’t touch me.” 

He didn’t deserve the sharpness in your tone. You knew that, but you couldn’t stop it from being there. Full and biting. 

Leonard held his hands up to show you he wasn’t going to touch you again. “I thought we got over you making me the bad guy when I let you into my head the other night.” 

“No one’s making you the bad guy.” You rested your forearms on the table so you could lean towards him. “Do you have to react dramatically to everything?” 

“I’m not the one who almost bit someone’s head off for putting a hand on your shoulder.”

“Expecting you to respect my boundaries is not biting your head off.” 

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’ve never met a boundary you wouldn’t cross.” 

You pulled your chin in and raised your brows. “I beg your unbelievable parton?” 

“You brought my twelve-year-old to a starbase!” 

You rolled your eyes and leaned back. “I have to hand it to you, Doctor. you can hold on to things for an exceptionally long time.” 

He crossed his arms. “You could start an argument with an empty house, you know that?” 

“You wouldn’t even need the house.” 

“I can’t do this right now. Find me when you’re done yo-yoing me around.” He waved a hand over his shoulder as he started back towards the door.

“Oh come on, Doctor. I already know how good you are at walking away. Show me something new.” 

He ignored your harassment and your eyes followed him out into the corridor. Then you dropped your head to your arms with a groan. 

“You ‘let yourself into his head’?” Spock repeated the phrase as closely as he could in Vulcan.

Stifling the urge to groan, you lifted your head just enough for you to be able to peak over your arms and stared up at your brother. 

“What does that mean?” After spending three days with other Vulcan’s his accent was stronger than it had been. It made you realize in retrospect how much his time in Starfleet had affected it. His consents were tighter. His vowels moved at a different pitch. You wondered if he was aware of how much he had changed.

“Nothing,” your Vulcan words were muffled slightly against your sleeve. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Silently, he sat down across from you. He carefully folded his hands on the table and straightened up, watching you. 

“Don’t do this,” you grumbled. 

“Don’t sit down with you?” 

“No, don’t do that silent judgy thing you do right before we get in a fight.” 

“I do not have a silent judgy thing.” 

“I can feel the angry thoughts churning in your head.” 

“Anger is a human emotion.” 

You rolled your eyes and dropped your head again. “Just say what you want to say.” 

“I have nothing to say.” 

You scoffed but didn’t look up. 

“You are going to do what you want to regardless of what I say. I don’t know why I ever bothered trying to give you advice.” 

“Advice?” Now you lifted your head fully. “You told me to avoid the doctor completely. How am I supposed to do that without offending his family, who are some of my closest friends? I’m his daughter’s third emergency contact. It goes Donna, then Fred, then me, then Leonard. Do you expect me to just leave him out of the loop in the case of an emergency with his own child?” 

“Of course not.” 

You pulled your shoulders back so he could get the full effect of your ‘so then what’ expression. 

“There are many other forms of relationships between avoiding entirely and performing intimate telepathic bonds together.” 

“If it’s so intimate-” It was incredibly intimate. You knew that. “-why do you use it on what are essentially criminals.” 

“Sometimes it is necessary to cross that boundary for the good of the many.” 

“And sometimes it’s necessary for the good of the one.”

His brows lowered at your flip of the traditional Vulcan motto. 

“He was suffering. I wasn’t just going to sit there when I could help.” You leaned back in your seat. “I thought you wanted me to avoid him because you feared I would pick a fight. I thought you would be pleased that we’re are… getting along.” 

“You appear to be managing to do both.” 

“Why does this bother you so much?”

“You have a tendency to,” he hesitated as he searched for the right words, “become emotionally invested. Were that to happen with a member of this crew who is less than understanding of many of your Vulcan traits it could become difficult for that person to continue working with me.” 

“You’re professional relationship is so fragile that my forming a friendship with him would create difficulties?” 

“Not for me alone. Your brash, unregulated emotions have gotten you into trouble before. Combining them with the doctor’s could create complications.” 

“I am not combining emotions with the doctor.” You stood up. “But if I was, it wouldn’t be any of your business. I can combine whatever I want with whomever I want.” 

“Where are you going?” 

“Well, I was going to go get some tea, unless you’re worried that I’ll run into the head engineer on the way to the replicators and become emotionally invested.” You didn’t wait for a response before walking away.

The light from the replicator stung your over tired eyes but you didn’t look away. It seemed the easiest place to look.

“Brothers, huh?” a nearby voice asked. 

You turned to see Jim still sitting at the table, a PADD in one hand and a mug in the other. 

“Brothers,” you agreed, grabbing your tea from the machine. 

“Always disappointed about something. I swear I don’t know why mine’s mad at me half the time,” he joked. 

“That must be nice.”

He chuckled. “I’m my experience with Spock he usually has a good, logical reason for everything he does and says.” 

“And in your experience with brothers?” you asked. 

“They usually mean well.” He gave you a sympathetic smile. “Even if they’re doing the wrong thing.” 

“Are you speaking as someone with a brother or someone who is a brother?” you asked. 

“Both.” He set his PADD down. “But mostly someone with a brother. I’m a great brother.”

You smiled at his playful cockiness. 

“Can I ask you another question?” 

“Of course.” 

“What’s a yo-yo?”

[ashmouthbooks]

Sha Ka Ree by ThereBeWhalesHere

Third and final binding for Annamon (ABT Fanbinding) for the 2022 @renegadepublishing binding exchange ! This is another Kirk/Spock fic, this time they’re stranded together on a planet as well in time.

A 600 page chonker, this is a rounded A5 HB bound in metallic charcoal bookclouth with the title done in silver foil and hot foil quill. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get a sharp and crisply foiled title on there so I decided to lean into the aesthetic and deliberately aim for a tarnished silver look to go with the theme of the fic. The endpapers are pepin press Art Deco, chosen to match the book cloth and because the motif makes me think of search lights. Headbands match the endpapers. I used the same typesetting as for the previous binding but with small adjustments, mainly I used only one Star Trek typeface for titles & running headers/footers. I’m really happy with how this came out!

Bonus: all three books pictured together: